Life style of Indian woman in Western World.

Life style of Indian woman in Western World.
How we Indian women come to Western world and adjust to it’s lifestyle from dressing to the behaviour for which at times we are criticised and at times applauded for our ability to adopt. What actually drives external behaviour at times does impact on our life style as well as our family. One thing never changes whether in East or West and that is we are the anchor of the family. . What changes is the support we get from our partners in cooking, cleaning do I see some guys raising their eyebrows?) in Western Country though I have also noticed same in India when now a days both the partners are working. The load might be a wee bit more in Western world due to absence of regular maid though machines do try their best to occupy that gap.

When I talk about cooking a dinner everyday at work I have most of my colleagues thinking I am from outer space. Packing lunches for a uni going daughter, hubby is sort of not what they are used to. Most of them buy lunches outside or just pack their own except they have younger kids. They say it is an extra work an Indian woman would be ready to take up but at the same time they do agree it is the best healthiest food you can provide for the family and in times of this recession definitely economical.

Whenever I claim my daughter is staying with us next question pops out. Still? She is eighteen. And I say yes. Next thing is hopefully she’s sharing the house expense. In the beginning I was used to get shocked. Money from daughter to stay with you? I could not understand the concept. May be because age old culture of India is to look after kids whatever age they are. That does give liabilities but also adds to your asset of love and relationships. To us kids are forever our responsibility. Though recent trend in India is to give them the space they know they can come to parents anytime. It is totally different thinking compared to Western Society. Other thing I have noticed is the marriage issue. Arranged marriages, expenses all paid by bride’s side, dowry but then if I start on that it will be never ending. Here in Western world couple is themselves responsible for their wedding expenses.

Next point which I have seen we Indian women differ from Western ones is ease with which we can socialise and be busy bee all through the weekend at times even more busier than the weekdays with friends, poojas, parties or just visiting. Western world have defined or rare time for those where as we always give importance to the relationships in our lives. They can not understand why we do not think of rest on weekends. As Indian women we have been brought up to look after family so much that we are famously infamous for ignoring the person .

As I mentioned earlier we must remember that we are the anchor and we become disjointed the whole family rocks. So in a way I like the idea in Western world about having time to you. Though to really attune one to it is pretty difficult as that concept is not at first well received either by you or the family. Initially I too refrained from it but 30 mins on weekend by myself has made a huge change in me as a person so I definitely am thankful to Western world for introducing me to this concept.

Another positive in lifestyle is involvement of dear hubby with girls. They have become closer and have more time spent together. That I agree can be because of the defined eight and hour’s day work time we have in NZ and most time one takes to travel to work place is 45 mins. But it definitely is a cherished time and a treasure which has enriched our lives.
So what has really changed the lifestyle? I can stop being an Indian nor can I be a crow singning like a cuckoo. But there are few things which one can adapt in lifestyle which will make them a crow which does not stand out odd in the crowd.
Well let me put few things from my perspective.

1. Now cooking is something I enjoy but think spending too much time in kitchen at cost of something else is not worth it. Eating habits have become much simpler with two cooked meals (quite a few friends have only evening cooking) .

2. Dressing- It is something I really do not enjoy but do it as it is required. The black, brown, navy suits with very few colours of shirts really does not satisfy my feminine craving like multicolour choice in sarees and accessories though I can agree that at -3deg I would definitely not survive wearing a saree.

3. Kids – How far a western culture effect they should have on them? There is a saying be a kiwi when in NZ but does that mean they ignore their ancestral existence as Indians? A tough question to answer. But I have noticed knowing more than one languages definitely gives them an edge over their peers. The ability to live in both cultures gives them a better insight to life.

So as an Indian woman a western lifestyle has given me some positives and some things to compromise and ponder on. Do I love it? I think I have got used to it but I miss the family, relations and also chaats from there.